And Then He was Gone
by Marisa Raven
Summary: **UPDATED**COMPLETE*** Severus has faced his demons and lived, will his be the bettersweet ending to the story? Hermione's answer to her Auror future and how two lives will again be intertwined. Please R & R
1. Author's Note

A/N:  
  
This is the prequel to I, Snape, this is going to be far shorter that that story. Possibly only 6-7 chapters at most. It may be more depending on the PLot Gophers. I own nothing of J. K. Rowling world. I own this plot. I hope this clears up some of what Mione went through as was briefly mentioned in small parts in I, Snape.  
  
This story was just something that was a side thought.   
  
My thanks to all of the readers of I, Snape and to the reviews.  
  
This story is made possible by: My little Plot gophers, they are the inspiration for many of this and to the sleep deprivation induced dream that started the whole twisted story. 


	2. Beginning of the end

Hogwarts had become a fortified castle when Hermione Granger, Ron weasely and Harry Potter returned for their Seventh and final year. They all knew the danger they faced when they weren't at the school and even while they were in it. They discovered that there were several Aurors now residing in the school and teaching promising seventh years.  
  
Hermione, Harry and Ron sat together at the Gryffindor table as Albus dumbledore made his beginning of the year announcements.   
  
"I am sure you have noticed that there are several Aurors now residing here. They have been given the names of several students that show a great talent and will be taking Several training courses with them this year." Hermione half listened. She was watching Professor Snape, he looked tired and worn. Dumbledore droned on, "From Gryffindor they are two students, Miss Hermione Granger and Neville Longbottom."  
  
Hermione looked up she was shocked when he said her name.  
  
"Congratulations Mione!" Ron said hugging her, Harry hugged her also. When they let go of her she caught Snape looking at her. He raised an eyebrow and gave a barely noticeable nod. Hermione flushed and turned to her friends.  
******  
  
Severus Snape looked at the Gryffindor, she looked shocked that her name had been read. She is her own worst critic, he thought to himself. She really should give herself more credit. He looked at her again. She was very pretty, quite different from the bucktoothed first year he still remembered her to be. Severus, he thought, be rational, she is a student after all.  
****  
  
The next morning at breakfast the schedules were passed out. "Oh no, this can't be right," Ron slumped down in his seat.   
  
"What can't be right?" Hermione asked picking up his schedule, she couldn't see anything wrong with it.  
  
"We have potions first of in the morning," Ron Groaned, "I can't deal with the Git this early in the morning.  
  
Professor McGonagall walked up to Hermione, "Miss Granger, Professor Dumbledore wishes to see you as well as Mister Potter and Mister Weasely in his office as soon as possible."   
  
The trio looked at each other then back at the professor, they nodded and got up to leave.   
****  
  
"What do you think we did this time?" harry asked ron as the stepped onto the moving steps leaving up to Dumbledore's office.  
  
"I dunno," Ron said running his fingers through his red hair.  
  
The stood at the door and Harry raised his hand to knock, "Come in," They opened to door and saw dumbledore along with several professors and several people the didn't know.  
  
"Ah you made it good good," he gestured them over to three large chairs. "Now you three are the only students that know of Severus' dealing with the deatheaters. And you three are the ones we have to keep save. Harry for obvious reasons. Mister Weasely because his father has recently replaced Cornelius Fudge. And finally Miss Granger, She had shown great promise in several areas and will be undergoing some Auror training as well as helping both professor Flitwick and Professor Snape."  
  
Hermione looked over at Professor Snape. He was watching her from the corners of his dark eyes. His eyebrow raised slightly. She wondered if he was amused at this.  
*****  
  
Severus caught her looking at him again. She seemed apprehensive to be working with him. Was it fear? Was it hatred? Was it something else? He thought as he watched her. She smiled, and his heart melted.  
****  
  
Two weeks later  
  
Hermione Granger knew she would be late, She knew it, she rushed Down the Dungeon hallway and into the Potions class and still had thirty seconds left to get to her seat.  
  
Harry and Ron looked at her, "Where were you?" Ron asked as she sat down.  
  
"I was helping Professor Flitwick and Dumbledore you know that," she whispered back. They knew she was helping them they just didn't know what she was helping with.  
  
Professor Snape glided into the room and cast an icy glare over the class, "I see we have all managed to get to class on time... For once," his glare fell on Hermione.  
  
She looked back into his glare. She wasn't afraid of him and he knew it. She had helped him with several potions in the past two weeks and earned a higher respect for the man. He, despite looking like he had been mulched, was still quite strong and his mind was sharper than cold steel.  
  
She worked with several of the professors and a couple of Aurors from the Ministry. Their job was not only to try and protect Hogwarts But also Professor Snape as well. And after the first open attack By Voldemort over the summer, Cornelius Fudge had been fired from his job and Arthur Weasely replaced him.   
  
Hermione watched as Professor Snape began to systematically yell at students, all of them except Neville Longbottom she noticed. He had begun basic Auror training because they saw the potential in him. They saw potential in Hermione as well, but she had her eye set on Potions and possibly Charms. She took most of the basic Auror training offered, who knows, she thought it might be of some use.  
****  
  
Hermione kept one attentive eye on her cauldron and the other watched Professor Snape. He was paler than usual and he looked exhausted. She, Harry and Ron knew he went to Deatheaters meetings at least once a week and that he was regularly tortured with the Cruciatus. He risked his life every week.  
  
She looked at his hair. And realized it wasn't greasy of stringy. His hair was thick and very luxurious looking. What she wouldn't give to run her fingers through it. He had finely arched eyebrows and his eyes were like pools of ink... Hermione?! What are you doing? He is your teacher. The little voice in her mind screamed at her.  
****  
  
Severus felt her watching him. That look, no one had looked at him that way since he was a student. No impossible, she is a student and you, well, you're twenty years older than her. Severus walked over to the girl. "Miss Granger, despite not paying full attention to you potion you have as usual done it correctly." He gave her a small smile that wasn't a cruel as it usually was. And he didn't take points away from her.  
****  
  
Hermione stood at her cauldron. She had another hour before dinner and wanted to finish this warding potion. She added a gram of dried basilisk blood and watched the potion turn a bright blue. She knew by the shade she had correctly made the potion.   
  
"Professor Snape?" She looked at the tall and brooding man standing a ways away from her. "It's done, does it have to be bottle while it's still hot?"  
  
"It should cool for a few minutes before it is bottled." He replied cooly, "You have prepared this potion quite well..."  
  
"But?" she asked as she set small bottles and vials on the table next to her.  
  
"But what?" Severus asked looking at her. Her hair was restrained in a french braid and her dark brown eyes held such emotion.  
  
"There is always a but when you critique students potions," She replied, showing that she did not fear him.  
  
"In this case you are a colleague," Severus replied, "You better start bottling it before it cools down completely." he gave her a sneer.  
  
****  
The Next night  
  
Hermione sat with Ginny in her dorm, "Voldemort is getting braver, he may try to attack hogwarts, Ginny," Hermione had just come back from her Auror class with Neville. She had already learned the basics if wandless magic and several spells not normally taught to students of any year. She also kept her want in an ankle case.   
  
Ginny looked worried, "It'll be okay, the aurors will stop him and Harry will..."  
  
"Harry will what?" Hermione said, "He'd be risking his life just like Professor Snape does every week."  
  
Hermione worried about her professor, he had a brilliant mind and it was slowly being wasted by Voldemort's games. She knew he wouldn't last much longer if Voldemort continued to play cat and mouse with him. But he was the only potions master among them, she thought he can't be so indiscriminate as to kill off a brilliant mind, or can he?  
***  
  
Hermione knew that Professor Snape had left that night, the meeting were becoming more and more frequent. She was working with Flitwick and Dumbledore late one night when she saw a the corner of a black cloak in the Hall.  
  
Her throat tightened and she knew he was leaving. She didn't want him to leave. She wanted him to stay there with her. She wanted to comfort him hold him in her arms. She wanted to make love to him. Her thoughts caught her of guard and she turned back to her work.  
  
TBC?   
  
Revised this I didn't like the first draft. Hope you like it. 


	3. Mixed emotions and that just can't be

Severus Snape donned the white deatheaters mask just before he apperated to the Riddle Manor. He apperated in the cold, dank and musty catacombs beneath the Manor. He followed the lit torches ignoring the burning in his left forearm. He reached the massive cavern and saw over three hundred white masks. At the head of the room Lord Voldemort sat, he looked like death. He was death, Severus thought.  
  
He walked up to the front of the crowd and bowed, "Lord Voldemort," He kissed the edge of his robes as a sign of respect.  
  
"Ah Severus," Voldemort's voice was icier than death and his hiss worse that any basilisks. "What news of Hogwarts?"  
  
"They have fortified the charms and protective spells tenfold, they think you will directly attack the school. There are half a dozen Aurors there teaching students. None from Slytherin house were chosen," Severus listened to the murmurs growing, "They are progressing faster than expected."  
  
Voldemort watched Severus with an icy glare, he wasn't lying. Voldemort knew that Severus knew better than to lie to him. "Thank you for bringing that news, you may rejoin the rest."  
  
Severus breathed a sigh of relief as he walked back to the waiting death eaters. He was safe at least for that night.  
****  
  
Hermione lay in her bed. She was worried. She had a bad feeling in the pit of her stomach. Why should she be concerned about Professor Snape, it wasn't as if she loved Him. or did she?   
  
Don't be silly, Mione, she thought, he is your professor and that would just be wrong. She thought of the potions she had helped him brew. She had looked at his hands, they were pale. They looked as if they were cold. She wanted to take one in hers and place it to her chest. To warm his hand, to warm his heart.  
  
She slid under the covers and closed her eyes. This was just a passing thing, soon her confusing thoughts about her professor would leave and voldemort would be gone and She would move on with her life.  
****  
  
Severus walked back to his chambers in the dungeon, he was relieved Voldemort seemed happy and there was nothing new to report.  
  
He went into his chambers and stripped as he made his way to his bedroom he would pick up the clothes in the morning now he just needed to sleep. he pulled Back the Dark green bad linens and crawled underneath the covers.  
  
he had managed to last an entire meaning with out being hit with the Cruciatus. He sighed and curled on his side. He hoped for once he wouldn't have nightmares, or hear the horrible screaming.  
****  
  
Hermione woke the next morning and Eeped, Ginny was sitting on her bed. "Good morning Mione!" She looked to cheerful for her own good.  
  
"There is nothing good about waking up feeling paranoid," Hermione sat up and rubbed her eyes. "You are entirely too cheerful for your own good. What did you do?"  
  
Ginny slid off the bed, "Nothing at all," She giggled, "Come on, it's almost time fore breakfast."  
  
Hermione grumbled and got up and dressed, she had taken a long hot shower after she had finished up preparing charms and wards with Flitwick and Dumbledore. She trudged after Ginny trying to force herself to wake up.  
****  
  
Hermione watched the teachers filing into the Great hall, She was glad to see professor Snape there. Why? she didn't know she just was.  
****  
  
She had been called away from potions by Dumbledore. She sat in his office with and Auror named Azine, "Miss Granger, Azine here has told me that you are skilled with the Charms and Potions aspect of the Auror training. She would like to know if you could help an additional hour once a week in the mornings?"  
  
"That would mean that I would have to miss Potions thought," Hermione would have rather kept her eye on Snape. But if she could help him and Hogwarts by missing one class a week she'd be willing to do it.  
  
"My dear it is only one class a week, Albus assured me you could make that up." Azine had a kind face and was taller than her.  
  
"Making up Potions classes is entirely up to Professor Snape thought," Hermione answered, "But if I can help Hogwarts more by missing one class a week I'll Do it,"  
*****  
  
Severus had watched the girl leaving his class, they look in her eyes said that she didn't want to leave the class or him. That can't be, he thought, it just can't be.  
  
Severus Looked around at the class and for a student, any student to yell at.  
  
  
TBC? 


	4. Auror in training and drink til the pain...

Hermione had it figured out. It had taken her nearly two months, but she figured it out. Her feelings towards Professor Snape were purely professional. She respected him, not only as a mentor but as a brilliant Potions Master. She rubbed the bridge of her nose as she sat on the counter in the restricted section. She had nearly finished copying the Charms for Flitwick had asked her to look up.  
  
She slid the book back in it's place, gathered up her notes and slid off the counter. She stretched and she yawned. Hermione looked around the library it was still very early in the morning and few people, if any, would be up.  
  
She walked out of the restricted section and nearly ran into Professor Snape. "Stupid Girl watch where you are going," He Gave her an icy look, this time She looked away. She hadn't had the opportunity to work with him in several weeks. The deatheaters meetings were taking more and more of his time.   
*****  
  
Severus was in no mood to run into the girl. He had figured out his feelings for her. She had a brilliant mind, that was what he admired about her. He knew she was pretty but it was her mind that held the most respect by him. With a little help her talent could even surpass your own Severus, he thought.  
  
"What are you doing up?" he growled, "It's not even six o' clock,"  
  
"I was erm... Helping Professor Flitwick, Sir," She looked at the floor, scared, startled.  
  
"It's a little early for that, go back to your dorm little gryffindor." He gave her another icy look.  
*****  
  
Hermione clutched her notes and ran from the library. She ran all the way back to the Gryffindor common room. Once she was inside she sat by the fire and organized her notes. Why does he have to be so damned cruel? she thought.   
  
She stared into the flames and played with the colors. She managed a deep purple before she dozed off...  
****  
The next night  
  
Professor Snape sat in a large armchair in his chambers. He had a bottle of Fire whiskey next to him. He had begun to feel the Phantoms pains again. They were weak, but the were there none the less. The whiskey helped dull the pains.  
  
He hadn't felt the searing pain from the dark mark in almost a week. Soon he thought it would burn again and he would have to go and grovel at the dork lords feet. Hoping that he wouldn't be tortured on a whim.  
***  
  
Hermione sat with the Auror Azine, she had shown the girl many new spells as well a teaching her wandless magic. Hermione's basic Auror training was nearly complete.  
  
"Now Hermione, you know that you must never let your guard down or have your back to the enemy," Azine looked into Hermione's eyes.  
  
"Yes ma'am," She felt her fingers tingling as she directed her hand over several objects, causing them to levitate.  
  
"We don't expect you to fight, your are being trained to help protect the school should something happen and we are not able to be here,"  
  
"I understand," Hermione caught someone watching her from the corner of her eye. She looked up and saw Harry and Ron watching her, they were smiling.  
  
"That will be all for today," Azine dismissed the girl.  
  
"Hey you two," she said walking over to her friends, "What's up?"  
  
"Oh, nothing much," Ron said smiling, "We just came back from Hogsmeade, brought you a few treats."  
  
Hermione looked at Ron and Harry, "Nothing bad I hope,"  
  
"No only a dozen chocolate frogs and three bottles of butterbeer," Harry replied smiling.  
  
"For me?" hermione asked, it was a lot for just one person.  
  
"Of course you, Silly," Ron replied as they entered their common room.   
***  
  
Severus lay curled in a ball. he felt the waves of pain coursing through his body. The phantom pains hit him hard this time. He could do nothing but lay in the middle of his living room, clench his teeth and let the pain wash through him.  
  
He could see the clock from where he lay. Fifteen minutes had passed and the Pains were finally subsiding. He felt exhausted, he was exhausted. he couldn't move, he didn't want to. He closed his eyes and fell into a pain induced sleep.  
  
  
TBC?  
  
Authors Note: Any and or all grammar errors in the previous chapter due to the fact that I wrote it at three in the morning. thanks for the reviews though.  
  
Zoe: Their feeling have been brushed off as respect because they both have serious doubts about their ability to hold a relationship.   
  
Hermione had Victor Krum and Oliver Wood. Both are Quidditch players one was gay and the other was bordering Neanderthal. Sn both weren't what she was looking for. Snape, well Snape has been a deatheater and spy for most(all) his adult life and never really had any relationships to speak of (well in my story anyways) and well they push their thoughts and feelings about each other away. 


	5. The Bet & Tall dark and handsome and not...

Christmas at hogwarts. Severus never liked the holidays much, he never accepted gifts and never gave in to the cheer. This year Potter and his two friends were to stay at the school. Snape walked down the empty and frigid halls of the dungeons, No one would be caught dead down there during the holidays. even the ghosts stayed away from the area Snape had his chambers.  
  
Hermione had finished her minimal Auror training and now devoted her time between her exams and her work with Flitwick. Snape had dropped her for unknown reasons and Hermione didn't press it.  
  
He walked the halls heading up to the great hall, there were no students in his sights and he wouldn't have cared anyways. he took his place at the end of the high table and looked at the remaining students. Enough had stayed to fill one of the house tables. oddly enough none of them were Slytherin.  
***  
  
Hermione had finished her meal and sat with Harry, Ron and Ginny at the Gryffindor table. She had finished reading the letter from Oliver, wishing her a happy holiday and so on and so forth.   
  
"Hermione, I am telling you that the boy is gay," Ginny said after hermione set the letter down.  
  
"He is not, he can't be," Hermione blushed remembering the week the two had spent literally in bed over the last summer holidays. "I mean why would he date me if he was?"  
  
"I bet you one Galleon that the boy will turn up with some cute boy on his arm one of these days." Ginny held out her hand.  
  
"You have yourself a bet," Hermione took Ginny's hand in her own and snook it.   
  
Ron and Harry shook their heads, "Girls," Ron said shaking his head.  
  
Harry didn't say much he was watching Ginny and thinking how pretty she was. Hermione caught his look and nudged him with her foot. He broke his look and scowled at her. "Keep that up harry and You'll be looking like ole Snape soon," Ron replied then laughed.  
  
Hermione turned her attention back to the rest of her letters and ignored her friends comment.  
****  
  
Another Deatheaters meeting took place the next night. Severus returned bruised and thankfully not bloody, and stumbled back to his chambers. He took off his cloak and shirt and looked at the crisscrossing marks that covered his shoulders. Looked at the wound in the mirror in the bathroom.   
  
Voldemort had thought it funny to have him whipped that night. Severus was thankful that it hadn't led to the Cruciatus. He didn't know how long he would be able to lie and say that nothing was going on at the school. They were almost prepared to go out and find the dark lord themselves. Yet he lied time and time, again saying that they hadn't done anything else.   
  
One day, he told himself, he would face he demons. face them and kill them, he told himself. It wouldn't matter if i died either, he thought, I have done too much too be redeemed even by Dumbledore.  
  
He cleaned his wounds the best he could and sat down with his bottle of fire whiskey. Tonight he would drink himself into a stupor, his liver be damned.  
****  
  
Hermione sat with Ginny in the gryffindor common room, Harry and Ron were playing a game of wizards chess. "Ginny, I don't know, but why is it I always get Quidditch players?"  
  
"I dunno, why is it?" She smiled, "It may be that you have to find someone older and who's not into the Sport,"  
  
Great, Hermione thought, that leaves practically no one. "That's not really a bloody help Gin. That's practically telling me to marry a muggle,"  
  
"It won't come down to that, you're young. And look on the bright side all of that money you have saved at Gringotts, you can travel around for a while,"  
  
Hermione wasn't sure that she wanted to travel around to find someone she could be compatible with. "It's just that my standards are so high that I don't think there is anyone who could fit them,"  
  
"Well tell me a few of them," Ginny was curious now.  
  
"Tall, dark, handsome, mysterious, intelligent, likes books, preferably a few years older than me, Preferably a wizard. Hmmm let's see what else?" she couldn't help but picture Professor snape when she thought of this.  
  
"Well that does ut you in a bit of a bunch," Ginny said, She had also pictured professor Snape but she didn't dare say that out loud. "You'll find someone,"  
  
"New year new possibilities." Hermione said shrugging. She wouldn't bother with her little list anymore. She had work to do and that would keep her mind on track.  
  
TBC?  
  
A/N: Sorry for the short chapters, but this is the best way for me to write this particular story. Thanks for all of the reviews.  
  
fleur-delacour: I don't know if this story is better, I hadn't planned on posting it. It was originally to help me clear up some of my thoughts about I, Snape. But I am glad you like it.  
  
Zoe: thanks a bunch, as for my spelling, I've been depriving myself of sleep lately. That plays a part in it.  
  
And thanks too: tuulilukko, Silverchick, skipastarseeker & lossencarwen ravenwolf :)  
  
another note: I have written a rather dark SS/HG story read and review if you dare. 


	6. what do I have to live for?

Hermione walked the halls of hogwarts, she was carrying her books and not paying attention to where she was going. "Miss Granger, Do watch where you are going," She stopped dead in her tracks and realized that she was inches away from Professor Snape's chest. She swallowed hard and looked up at him, she realized she was only about six inches shorter than him.  
  
"I'm Sorry Professor, I have a lot on my mind," She looked down at the floor.   
  
"Do watch were you are going," He replied looking at her, She was indeed a remarkable girl and tall, he thought regarding his six foot two frame. He brushed past her and swept off towards the dungeons. He had a lot to think about.  
  
Hermione looked around her and saw that he had left, "It's for the best," she told herself, as she could barely pay attention in Potions anymore. "Friends never have too worry, you worry enough for all of them," she muttered to herself.  
****  
  
Severus walked into his dungeon chambers and over to his writing desk, he glanced out of the enchanted window in his room. The Snow was beginning to melt on the grounds of Hogwarts, and he knew Voldemort would strike.  
  
Albus knew about this and all the preventative measures they had had been taken. Severus rubbed the bridge of his nose and sat down by the window. Here I am in my forties and I am fighting a losing battle, he thought as he looked outside, one day I'll go and I won't return.  
  
he thought of Miss Granger. She has a remarkably brilliant mind, and if Voldemort wins she'll be killed because her parents are muggles. But what can I do? I am old, worn, and very tired of everything. He reached for the bottle of fire whiskey on his desk and didn't even bother with a glass this time.  
  
Everything is going to hell and I am right in the middle of it, he thought as he took a long pull from the bottle. Bugger everything, I'll end up dead no matter how this turns out, Voldemort will tire of me soon enough.  
  
Severus wasn't bothered by his own mortality, he had seen dozens of deaths in his years as a spy and he just knew he wanted it to be quick.  
****  
Two days later:  
  
Hermione sat with Ginny in the library, "You know I was thinking about what you said about your standards," Ginny started, "And well the only person that comes to mind is Snape," Hermione's head shot up. She was red.  
  
"Ginny!" She whispered loudly, "He's my teacher for Gods sakes,"  
  
"Well, He is the closest match to what you want," She said giggling, she would never tell Mione but she thought Snape was handsome, But she had Harry.  
  
Hermione buried herself back into her book. She didn't want to think of Snape. She didn't want to think about how tired and worn he looked. She didn't want to think of the dozen other things she had dreamed up wither.  
  
She took her notes and closed her book again, "I have to deliver these to Dumbledore," she told Ginny, "You want to go to Hogsmeade tomorrow?"  
  
"Sure," Ginny smiled and turned back to her own homework.  
*****  
  
Hermione walked down the halls and towards Dumbledore's Office. She shuffled her notes and placed them in order. She stepped up to the office door and raised her hand to knock, "Come in," She always wondered why he did that.  
  
"Good afternoon Professor Dumbledore," Hermione gave him a broad smile and walked over to the desk where he sat. "I brought my notes as you requested,"  
  
"Thank you Miss Granger, Lemon Drop?" He asked as she sat down, "There is something else too?"  
  
"I'm just worried about Professor Snape Sir." She fidgeted slightly.  
  
"He's just working himself a little harder than usual dear, He'll be fine in a couple of days, you'll see. All he needs is a good weekend of rest." Dumbledore smiled at her. She handed over her notes and left the office.  
*****  
  
Hermione straightened her shirt as she sat in the empty charms class room, she rubbed her eyes trying to stay awake. She was going over the work they had done that night. she had pushed Snape out of her mind for the time being and focused on her work.  
  
She gathered her books and notes and stretched, "Will there be anything else Professor?" she asked the short professor as he flitted around the classroom.  
  
"No no miss Granger that will be all for the rest of the night, and possibly the rest of the week." He smiled at her as she walked to the door. She smiled at him as she left.   
****  
  
  
Hermione was one of the few students given free reign of the hallways at night. She had passed up the offer for head girl in order to help Flitwick, Dumbledore and for that short time Snape.  
  
She caught sight of a dark cloak and quickly hid herself in the shadows. It was Snape. She knew better than to say anything, she just watched. He staggered painfully down the hall way on his way to his dungeon chambers.  
  
To soothe his fears and wash away the pain, but in it all what do I have to gain? hermione thought of the poem her cousin, Silus, had written. She chided herself silently. How can you think of that Mione?! She thought as Snape disappeared around the corner.  
  
She walked from her hiding place and down the hall in the direction Snape had gone. She hoped he was gone. She tiptoed down the hallway as silently as she could, "Miss Granger, You are supposed to be in you dormitory," She froze and turned. Snape looked at her with dark eyes, his arm clutching his side. She could see blood on his shirt. "You'd better get going before I take away points," He snarled at her when he noticed what she was looking at.  
  
Hermione nodded and turned on her heel and left quickly.  
****  
  
Severus winced in pain and made his way down to his chambers. There was no way he would go to Madam Pomfrey. He stumbled into his chambers. He suddenly felt sick and rushed into the bathroom and vomited. He lay curled on the floor his cheek pressed against the cool tiled floor. He tried not to think about what had taken place that night. he had watched the brutal rape and murder of a muggle teenager. Severus had also been whipped and tortured for being too slow in gathering information for Voldemort.   
  
After a half hour he felt well enough to stand and to tend to his wounds. He stripped off his shirt, and left it in a crumpled heap on the floor. He looked in his mirror and at the dozens of whip marks on his pale skin. He knew they would heal into a latticework of white scars.   
  
his whole body stung and his head throbbed. He finished cleaning his wounds and stumbled back into the living room. He sat on the couch by the fireplace. he looked at the dark mark on his arm. "Severus why were you so stupid as to do this?" he asked himself quietly, "No, there is no turning back for one like you... you chose your path now follow it or die trying to change it."  
  
He picked up a bottle of whiskey and looked at it thoughtfully before taking a long pull from it.  
  
TBC  
  
A/N: Snape is a bit OOC in some bits I know. There are just somethings that I have to write this way. They are supposed to match up with I, Snape.  
  
Thanks for all of the reviews, I appreciate them greatly.  
  
Snapes-mistress: Oliver & Mione dated over the summer, he was in denial, but he really does care for her a lot.  
  
Zoe: I thought about making that into a joke after I had Posted it.  
  
Maddie: It gets worse, a lot worse. 


	7. Nothing left to gain

Three months later:  
  
Severus woke on the floor next to the couch. his head was pounding, and no wonder he had finished most of the bottle of fire whiskey. He sat up and rubbed his forehead. Severus felt like he had been stomped on then he remembered the night before. He stood and walked to his bathroom where he kept his own personal potions. He found a bottle of bright blue potion and downed it. His throbbing headache soon disappeared.  
  
He stripped his clothes and crawled into the shower. He turned on the faucet and felt the warm water washing over his cold skin.  
He stood with his head resting against the side of the shower. He tried to forget the screams and all the blood. He looked at his forearm and the dark mark. He had tried to scrub it off before too no avail and had given up.  
  
The only option for you Severus is to just cut your bloody arm off, he thought as he looked at his bruised body. You can't keep doing this to yourself. You told yourself that three months ago and look at yourself.  
  
After he dried and dressed he sat at his writing desk. He had to go to Hogsmeade to the apothecary. He was low on wormwood and didn't like to be without. Too many Potions could be made with that one, including Pain. He had only made the potion one time and that was for Voldemort. It was a dozen times worse the the cruciatus. He shuddered. But, he thought, with three drops he could slip into a coma and then be at peace, Severus that's the cowards way out and you know it.  
****  
  
Hermione and Ginny walked down the path to Hogsmeade. "How's the work with Flitwick going?" Ginny asked as they walked arm in arm.  
  
"Tiring but worth it," Hermione replied, "It's not Like working with Snape though. When I worked with him it was easy we knew what needed to be done and we never had to ask the other what was needed we just knew."  
  
"What did I tell you three months ago? That he is about as close as you can get to your perfect man."  
  
"Ginny he's old enough to be my father and I need someone a bit younger than that. Can we just drop it?"  
  
"Sure," Ginny shrugged, maybe she was wrong. "How about a butterbeer and a scone?"  
  
"Sounds like a plan to me," she smiled as they reached the village.  
****  
  
Albus walked down to Severus' chambers. He knocked on the door and waited. The door opened slightly, and Severus looked out. "Albus, what can I do for you,"  
  
"There was another meeting last night, they are becoming more frequent." Albus stepped into the room when Severus opened the door further. "I can't risk your life anymore."  
  
"There won't be anymore meetings for at least a month," Severus said sitting down in a chair, "I'll be fine and I have brought you useful information."  
  
"You have at that," Albus said sadly, "You have to be careful now." Albus left his chambers and silently shut the door.  
  
Severus knew his odds were stacked against him but he had to face his demons sooner or later, and he'd rather have it sooner.  
Too many brilliant minds here, that will be wasted because of their heritage.  
*****  
  
Hermione and Ginny sat outside with their butter beers, they were looking at the young flowers, "Mione, what am I going to do next year? you won't be here."  
  
"Oh you'll figure something out. Who knows you may even be able to go for head girl, your grades are nearly perfect."  
  
"I know, But what will you do?" Ginny asked as she caught sight of a familiar black robe, "Here comes trouble,"  
  
Snape walked past the Two young women, "Miss Granger, Miss Weasely," He nodded to them as he passed.  
  
"Was it just me or did he acknowledge our existence?" Ginny said as she nearly dropped her butterbeer.  
  
"I told you he's been acting odd lately." Hermione replied wondering why he had done that.  
  
TBC  
  
  
A/N: this is a super short chapter but it's going to start going into the 'ordeal' talked about by Severus in I, Snape. And I don't want to include that in this chapter. It's far too sad and will take me a couple of days to write it, maybe.  
  
  
Maddie: sorry it gets worse, then better.  
  
zoe & Snapes-mistress 


	8. Nothing left to Lose

The last rains of April had given most of the students cabin fever. The students as well as many of the teachers were happy when the rain finally ended. Hermione watched Harry on the Quidditch pitch. She felt the early may sunlight warm her. She spent many afternoons watching him practice with Ginny. It took her mind off of Professor Snape.  
  
She had decided that she did indeed have a crush on the moody Potions master. Her heart wrenched each time she knew he had disappeared to go to another meeting.  
  
She picked up her book bag and sighed. She had to meet with Dumbledore again. There had been numerous rumors and threats concerning Voldemort and when and where he would attack.  
  
Hermione had picked up her training again with Azine. She was happy to learn that Neville had continued his training and would most likely be the youngest auror ever.  
  
She walked back to the castle and walked silently through the hallways, "Hermione,"  
  
She looked up and smiled, "Professor Lupin, What a pleasure to see you again," She smiled warmly at the shabby looking man.  
  
"Likewise, I'm here with Sirius for Dumbledore." He said as they started walking. "Harry tells me that you've been training with an Auror."  
  
"Yes Sir," She smiled, "Though Neville is doing much better than me. To tell you the truth I may pursue potions,"  
  
"I am sure Professor Snape just loves that idea,"  
  
"Actually I haven't had the opportunity to either talk to him on the subject or work with him for several months,"  
  
"Oh," Lupin frowned, "I'm sure he'd think that you are too headstrong and you are a Gryffindor after all," They both laughed. they stopped only after they had reached to doors to Dumbledore's office. Hermione noticed Harry, Ron, Black and Snape sitting around the office. Snape looked as if he had been awake for a week, He probably had.  
*****  
  
Severus felt the searing pain in his forearm, he tried to ignore it as Dumbledore droned on. "Severus?" Albus noticed his discomfort.  
  
"I have to leave," Severus said the deep hollows of his eyes flashing pain and fear. "Continue without me."  
  
Hermione watched as he rushed out of the room, clutching his left forearm as he did. She bit the inside of her lip as she watched him leave. She noticed that neither Ron Nor harry seemed concerned about his departure.  
  
Please don't leave, she silently pleaded after he had fled.  
****  
  
Severus fled the castle and ran to the edge of the forbidden forest where he disapperated. He apperated in the makeshift court of the Dark Lord. He immediately felt the searing pains of the cruciatus and looked towards Voldemort. "You've wasted enough of our time Severus,"  
  
Severus fell himself being bound and he looked around. He saw dozens, hundreds of white masks. He tried not to show fear, he knew Voldemort would enjoy it.   
  
Severus stood facing the white masks of dozens of Deatheaters, he shook slightly, and jumped when the Dark lord said his name.  
  
"Severus, you have failed me for the last time," Severus shook, "See how weak he is? Crucio!"  
  
Waves of fiery searing pains raced through his body, "You'll die soon enough, Severus,"  
  
"Crucio!" Again the pains wracked his already beaten and battered body, "You will first watch all you know die..."  
  
"Master?" Severus saw Lucius smiling, "Shall we whip him first?" The man truly had a mean sadistic streak.  
  
"Yes, that will be most entertaining. Don't you agree Severus?" Voldemort laughed as Lucius produced a bundle of switches. Severus was powerless to do anything. He could only hope that the end was quick, "Severus, yours will be a slow and painful death,"  
  
Severus closed his eyes and clenched his teeth as Deatheaters immobilized him and tore his shirt away. They then found a post to tie him to. Lucius grinned maniacally as he chose the first switch, another deatheater close by held a whip.   
  
Severus felt not only the stinging of the switches but the wave of failure. He knew that he had not only failed Albus and Hogwarts, but the entire wizarding world. he pictured Hermione's face. A brilliant young woman who no doubt would be killed because of her heritage. He didn't want to think about what They would do to her. He bit the inside of his cheek to keep from crying out in pain. I will not give him the pleasure of my voiced pain, he thought as they finished with the switches and turned to the whips.  
  
TBC  
  
A/N: Intense but short chapter, thanks for the reviews :)  
Sorry for the short chapters buti can't write this as one big chapter, I can't make you guys to sad. Forgive the grammer and puncuation mistakes, sleep depping again. Also I am going to be alternating posting days for this story and I, Snape So hopefully every other day this story will be updated.  
  
Maddie: Sorry it has to get worse before it gets better.  
  
Thanks: Zoe & Christina  
  
Snapes-Mistress: I would love to add Serrento, But he is just for I, Snape. Besides I don't think I could handle him in two stories. Could you? 


	9. And then he was gone

Hermione woke with a strange feeling in the pit of her stomach. She didn't know what it was but she knew it was not right. She sat up, she knew it was about six-thirty or so and that she might as well get up. Professor Snape had not returned yesterday, she hoped he would be there today.  
  
She showered and dressed then sat in the large red armchair in the common room. She watched the fire and wondered what had made her wake up.  
  
She tried not to dwell on it and picked up a book from the small table next to her. It was a potions book, one borrowed from Professor Snape months ago.  
  
It was well after seven by then and Hermione figured she could brave the hallways to return the book to him. Hermione wrapped herself in her warmest robes and slowly made her way down to the dungeons.   
****  
  
Hermione was surprised when she saw the door to the potions class wide open and Sirius Black standing in the class room.  
  
"Sirius?" Hermione stood in the doorway, "Where's professor Snape?"  
  
"I'm afraid he hasn't show up yet," He looked uneasy, "I am to take his place until he returns,"  
  
"Oh," She said holding the book out, "I have borrowed this from him sometime ago and thought he might want it back,"  
  
"I'll make sure he gets it," He took the book from her hands and noticed her shaking, "Is something wrong?"  
  
"No nothing," She smiled and walked out of the dungeons, I hope he comes back.  
****  
  
A week later:  
  
Harry walked into the great hall to see Hermione picking at her breakfast, "Is there anything wrong Mione?" he asked her, she had been upset all that week. He raised his hand to put it on her shoulder but thought better of it.  
  
"Nothing's wrong Harry," she replied looking at him. How can I tell you that someone important to me is never coming back?  
  
He looked at Ron who shrugged at him. He didn't know why she was moping either. Neither did Ginny for that matter.  
*****  
  
As the days and then weeks passed, Hermione became more and more engrossed in her work and withdrew from others. She scoured Auror reports and looked at maps. She was bound and determined to find out where Voldemort was hiding. If she could help in no other way, she knew that this was the way she could help.  
  
Hermione worked herself to exhaustion every night. Only speaking to others when they spoke to her and very rarely did she ever start a conversation anymore. She hardly even reprimanded Harry and Ron.  
  
Several of her professors wondered why she had suddenly become so withdrawn. Flitwick figured it had something to do with Severus' disappearance. He remembered her telling him that Charms and Potions were to of the things she would eventually like to teach.   
  
Flitwick knew that though she exceeded everyone's expectations in the subject. Her mind was made more for the formulations and exacting nature of potions.  
  
Albus also noticed her change, but he wouldn't press the girl for the cause. He somehow knew that it had to do with Severus and he felt saddened for the loss.   
  
Her heart was broken and she knew not how to mend it. Other than finding a way to exact her revenge that is. She knew that he would never have allowed her to show her feelings towards him. And as much as she wanted to try, she couldn't now.   
******  
  
Severus was taken from his cell every night and tortured tormented and otherwise humiliated in front of only a handful of deatheaters. These were the oldest amongst them and Voldemort's most loyal servants over the years.  
  
"You're truly pathetic," Lucius would say every morning when he was brought back to his cell. His wounds would be patched with barely passable potions and he would be left with a bowl of water and a few bits of bread or a piece of almost rotten fruit.  
  
Severus woke up in his dark and damp cell. He knew his wounds had been patched if poorly. Voldemort was indeed making his death long and drawn out, he thought, by his best estimation he had been there well over a month and a half.  
  
He could see the light of day through a small window at the end of the dungeon hall. It was only at night when he was tortured. it was at night he was humiliated. But it was in the mornings when he had nightmares and he saw her face. Only to forget that she had been in his dreams when he woke in pain the next night.  
  
He sat, leaning up against the side of the cell wall his knees drawn up close to his bruised chest. Severus choked back his tears, he was an absolute failure.  
  
He had failed everyone; The Ministry, Hogwarts, Albus, all of the staff and students and he failed to protect the brilliant young minds. He pictured Hermione Granger's face and felt the tears burning his cheeks. I have truly failed.  
  
Snape picked up a scrap of parchment that he had found in the cell. he had written the start of a confession/ forgiveness letter. He had it all planned in his head. 'I Snape potions master at hogwarts hereby confess all of the atrocities I have committed over the past twenty years... Having failed to protect the school and all in it I can only ask forgiveness, thought I do not deserve it.' He would be dead by the time someone found it and read it...   
  
He looked up when he heard the cell doors creaking open, he hid the parchment under his sleeping palette "Severus, It's time to play,"  
  
Severus shuddered. In the weeks he had been there; he had been used as a guinea pig for pain potions and curses, Whipped, beaten, and there were somethings he'd rather not think about.   
  
Severus felt himself pulled up and he let them drag him, there was little he could do in this state.  
  
They took him to a small room with a wooden pole in the center of it, "I think a nice whipping," He could hear lucius' voice, he wondered if the bastard got off on this. Severus would have laughed if he had the strength.  
  
"Voldemort is going after the aurors soon, without them in the way there will nothing in our way," Severus was glad that hermione wouldn't have to deal with Voldemort or the deatheaters directly. She wasn't fully trained yet and would stay at hogwarts until the end of term. She had work there, she needed to be there.  
  
Severus swallowed, "One day Lucius you will get yours,"  
  
"Ha, I doubt that," Lucius laughed, "If that were to happen, you won't be around to see it," He looked to the white masked assistant and nodded.   
  
Severus heard the whip being raised and bit his lip. He would not cry out in pain. He hadn't yet and he wouldn't even if he died.  
****  
  
"Mione?" Ginny sat across from her friend, "Do you want to talk about it?" She didn't press her friend for information.  
  
"No," She replied, "I'm not ready to talk about it," I don't think I ever will. A small part of her still hoped they would find Professor Snape. His body had never been found and that gave her a tiny bit of hope. But Hope faded with each passing day, and she knew that one day it would be gone.  
  
She was heart broken, the only man I could have ever truly loved was gone from my life forever, she had thought many times. Graduation was in a week and she knew that she would never see Snape again. Her heart would never fully heal. And she couldn't exact her revenge either.  
  
She had passed all of her exams thus far and knew she could finish these ones. She pushed Snape out of her mind. She couldn't stay like this forever, could she?  
  
  
  
TBC   
  
  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
A/N: Thanks for the reviews on the chapter.  
  
Maddie: I know he's a bastard.  
  
fleur-delacour, Zoe, Lossencarwen ravenwolf; I toned down the torture for the most part, but still it is there.  
  
Vireco: thank you for your offer as a beta, this is my way of pushing myself to write better. I am a perfectionist my nature. I do get rather frustrated with my own story at times. Especially when I cannot find other words that seem to fit the sentence. I myself and getting tired of putting 'he' or 'she' constantly, but that's a part of my writing style. I know it gets repetitious. It's easier for me to write from the first person rather than third, this is a test for me, an enjoyable one at least.  
  
And as for Oliver being gay in my story; let me give you a little background about why I did that. I have a gay little brother and we have the exact same taste in guys. And it always (without fail) happens that any guy I find extremely attractive is inevitably gay. hence that part. forgive me. 


	10. I knew where you hide & I plan I strike ...

Hermione stood with Arthur Weasely, Albus, and several others.  
"I'm telling you it's here," She said pointing at the map, "That's where voldemort is,"  
  
"How can you be so sure?" An Auror asked asked, "It's just the ruins of a medieval castle."  
  
"Half of the castle is still there, It's built into the side of a mountain, there's a clearing big enough to hold a few hundred, thick forest surrounding it and finally you haven't checked there yet."  
  
Harry was impressed. He had convinced his Godfather and Dumbledore to let him go if they found where Voldemort was hiding.  
  
"We'll investigate it soon," An Auror said.  
  
"You'll investigate it now." Hermione gave them a look that would have petrified a basilisk. "We've already lost one professor here and Gods know how many muggles,"  
  
Arthur Weasely had to agree with the girl, "She is right, we should see to this as soon as possible,"   
  
Dumbledore frowned, "Graduation is tomorrow,"  
  
"I am well aware of that, the night after is the new moon perfect time,"   
  
Hermione watched the men, all of her hard work was paying off. The only downside was she would be at the ministry directly after graduation to take the auror entrance exam. Without Severus she had nothing else to really go for. She couldn't face the dungeons as a potions mistress yet.   
*****  
  
Hermione sat in her dorm, she had become slightly more cheerful as the term drew to a close. She sat amidst her books and trinkets she had acquired over the year. She would shrink them all and put them in the one trunk she had limited herself to that year.  
  
She had gotten a letter from Victor the day before. Saying he missed her and wished she would write him. It wasn't that short but she couldn't bare to write him.  
  
She heard the door opening, "Hey Mione," Ginny plopped herself on the bed next to her, "I'm going to miss you,"  
  
"You sound like I am never going to see you again, I do have all summer."  
  
"Not if Voldemort wins. Not if you get accepted into the Auror program. Not If..."  
  
Hermione cut her off, "I get the idea," She smiled at her friend. "I'm sorry that I have been acting so odd lately,"  
  
"That's okay, I figured it was from the repetitive letters you keep getting from Victor,"  
  
Hermione smiled, "That's part of the reason." She still couldn't tell her friend about her crush on Snape.  
  
Ginny threw her arms around Hermione's neck, "I'm going to miss you next year,"  
  
"I'm not gone yet," she said tears in her eyes.  
*****  
  
Severus lay in his cell. They had let him be for almost three days. He figured that today would be graduation. He was still alive after two months and a handful of days.   
  
His bruises had a sickly yellow cast and his body didn't hurt as much as it had. They had fed him and gave him water and his strength was gradually returning.  
  
He had been moved to a cell in a dungeon laboratory. His wand sat on a workbench a dozen feet from him. He could do some wandless magic, mostly levitation. But he as still to weak to bring his own wand to himself. It had been placed there to taunt him, and it maddened him.   
  
Severus still had dreams of Miss Granger. She, in his arms,   
comforted him. He knew it was wrong to think such things. But, here in the dungeons of Voldemort's keep, he allowed himself the small luxury of envisioning her face and her body.  
  
He knew that Voldemort and the deatheaters had planned on attacking no only the Ministry but Hogwarts as well. They were to attack the the day after the new moon.   
  
Facing your demons is harder than it seems isn't it Severus? His thoughts told him, his mind had become an enemy to him. Severus, you know you'll never get out of here alive. Admit it, you're trapped and no one can save you. No one even knows you're still alive...  
  
He wrapped his arms around his head and curled into a fetal position. He sobbed silently, refusing to let tears fall. He was a Snape, he wouldn't cry. What would his family say to that? He thought, they would tell him to do something.  
  
I have failed, he told himself silently, Nothing can redeem me.   
  
There is one thing, a voice inside his tortured mind started, death can redeem you. Yes, death, not in your cell though, escape and take out as many as you can before they kill you. Then maybe you can redeem yourself.  
  
He swallowed hard and sat up again. He wasn't afraid of dying, it was how he died that frightened him.  
  
He looked at the work bench and at his own wand. It was ebony and nearly thirteen inches long, it had a Northern Water Dragon heartstring in it. He took several deep breaths before focusing on the wand.  
  
After several minutes he managed to move it three inches. Great, he thought grimly, at this rate he would have it in a week. he dropped his head to his chest and breathed deeply again.   
  
He had the feeling that he would be left alone until after Voldemort's victory, if there was one. He couldn't think of the things that had been done to him, not that.   
  
He couldn't let that happen, he couldn't let Voldemort win. He looked up again and pushed his hair out of his eyes. He focused again on his wand, putting all of his strength into his concentration. The wand shot off the bench and into the cell, nearly impaling him.   
  
He picked it up and smiled. Now, he thought, I will wait and then I will strike. Then I'll die...  
  
TBC  
  
A/N: Sorry for the wait on this chapter. I, normally, am at least three chapter ahead of my readers on either this or my other story I, Snape. I am taking a break from this story for a few days so I can write. I know where this story is going to go, I just need to writer it out. You won't be disappointed I promise. 


	11. I Face the Demon with outsretched arms

Hermione apperated to the Ministry. She was still tired from her night of merriment with the rest of the seventh years. She had said her goodbyes to Harry, Ron and the rest of her friends and hoped that she would see them all safe in the end.  
  
She walked up the steps of the building and walked inside. She knew that she Auror offices were in the subbasement in the right wing of the building.  
  
Hermione made her way there. she knew that there would only be a single Auror there. the rest had been called away along with some of the teachers at Hogwarts to find Voldemort and his deatheater minions.   
  
She yawned as she walked the vast basement halls. She say the door and knocked on it. "Come in," She opened the door and saw a group of young men and women mingling. "You must be Hermione Granger," A handsome wizard in deep purple robes said smiling at her. "You're our second youngest applicant."  
  
"Who's the youngest?" she asked smiling back and blushing slightly. this guy is too young to be an Auror, she thought.  
  
"Neville Longbottom," He answered. "I do believe he is somewhere in the back of the room. We will start the written tests in fifteen minutes."  
  
She smiled and walked off towards the back of the room. She spotted Neville immediately. "Neville," She smiled warmly at him, "I'm glad you decided to take the test as well,"  
  
"It's about the only thing I am good at. Potions and Arithomancy were no good for me, but the Auror classes at school helped me a bit."  
  
"You've done fine, Neville,"  
  
He smiled shyly at her, he had turned into a handsome young man, even though he was extremely shy. "Good luck on the test, if anyone can do it you can."  
  
"I'm sure you'll do just a well as me," She smiled again.  
*******  
  
After hours of writing Hermione was glad that the test was over with. She walked out of the Ministry building glad to be out in the sunlight. She knew that the Aurors would have apperating to the 'abandoned' castle by now. She had been right and the castle was the spot were Voldemort based. She knew that harry and Ron were going to be in the mix of it.  
  
She thought about the test the final twenty pages were a temperament test. To see if she had the right personality to be an Auror. One could have a perfect score on the rest of the test but 'fail' the temperament and you couldn't take the advanced training.  
******  
  
Harry, Ron, Remus, Hagrid and Sirius stood with a group of Aurors. "Harry, You and Ron are to stay with either Myself or Remus," Sirius said watching the two young men. "Voldemort will more than likely seek you out," Harry Nodded, he understood the dangers, he had faced Voldemort numerous times over the years. But this year it would be the last time.  
  
"Ron," Remus started, "Make sure you come out of this alive,"  
  
"Yes Sir," Ron replied. the four of them waited as the Aurors surrounded the ruins. "I wish Mione were here,"  
  
"So do I," Harry said as he followed his godfather and Remus.  
******  
  
Severus could hear screams, What's that? he thought, he took his wand out. Was it an attack? Who was attacking? He pushed against the bars of his cell, they hadn't budged, he put the tip of his wand into the Keyhole and muttered and unlocking charm. The cell door swung open with a slight creak.  
  
He staggered out, and looked around the room for some form of garment to use as a shirt. He found a cast off robe in the corner and realized that it was his own. Ripped from him before he was thrown into the cell.  
  
He heard things crashing against the stone walls in the Halls above, and more screaming. He slowly made his ways up the Stairs. He hears screams outside the building as well. He looked out on of the minute windows that dotted the stairwell.  
  
He saw the robed deatheaters and others. Aurors! he thought, they had found out where Voldemort was, and who was that Potter? He felt suddenly weak. Someone at Hogwarts must have figured out where Voldemort had hidden himself and his minions. But who? Granger? She had always been good at the maps. But they surely thought he was dead by now. I lived, I'll live long enough to face my last Daemon, then nothing else matters.  
  
The main hall where Voldemort held the meetings was littered with the fallen bodies of both Aurors and Deatheaters. He recognized the body of one of the female Aurors; Azine. He scowled, he had been tolerant of her, they almost got along.   
  
He saw the form of a Deatheater in the Shadows. "Come out of there," The figure stepped forward and Severus saw that it was Lucius, "Well well, waiting for someone to come along so you can get them,"  
  
"I see you're still alive,"  
  
"Like it matters to you," Severus used a full body bind on Lucius before the other man could get another word out. "I have better things to deal with. I'll leave you here with the bodies."  
  
Severus limped out to on of the smaller passages, it was littered with the bodies of many deatheaters as well. No Aurors lay in this batch.  
  
Severus found a large broken window and crawled out of it. He landed on the grass with a soft thud. He cursed as he stood up feeling a sharp shooting pain in his ankle.  
  
He heard a laugh that sent a chill down his spine. It was Voldemort, he had cornered someone. "Now" He heard as he pressed himself against the ruined outer wall. "Who will it be first, Potter?"  
  
Potter?! Severus cursed himself. He peaked around the corner and saw the looming figure of Voldemort. He had Cornered Harry, Remus and Sirius. Bugger, he thought. the two men were on the ground in obvious pain; the Cruciatus.  
  
"Who will it be first?" Voldemort asked, confident that his deatheaters would take care of the Aurors who were out numbered nearly four to one. "You're Godfather? or your pathetic little werewolf?"  
  
Severus knew what he had to do, even if that meant saving the lives of three of his least favorite people; Voldemort, he knew wasn't immune to the Killing curse. he could be killed. All right Severus, you've waited for two months for this day. Do it Now! Severus peeled himself away from the wall.   
  
Never again will I be your damned little lapdog, Never again. Severus raised his wand. "This is the final time Voldemort," Severus said quietly, then louder, "Evada Kedavra!" The curse struck Voldemort full in the back, weakening him considerably.   
  
The Dark Lord turned and swung, flinging Severus back. He saw the ruins rushing up towards him as his body slammed against them.  
  
Several Aurors saw that Voldemort had been weakened. Harry was the next to use the killing curse on Voldemort. He crumpled to the ground still trying to attack the trapped trio. Aurors closed in and finished him off, with several brilliant green flashes of light.  
  
  
  
TBC?  
  
  
A/N: thanks for all of the reviews. I appreciate them. Sorry about not updating as often as I usually do. It's a short chapter I know but it is worth it. Theoretically I could end the story right here and have most of you satisfied. But we'll see. The Gophers are officially taking a break from this and my other story: To where shadows dwell and angels cry (formerly I, Snape). We will update sometime after christmas. I am sorry to do this to you guys but I want to get a few chapters ahead of my readers.  
  
Writing has been slow but I want the chapters to be good, regardless of the fact that I write between 2-4 A.M.   
  
Thanks: Maddie, Zoe, Snapes-Mistress 


	12. New beginnings

It was over. Voldemort lay a shell of ash at Harry's feet. He was shocked, not only because he had helped in destroying voldemort. But because Professor Snape had dealt the first blow.  
  
He knelt next to his Godfather, he was unconscious and bloodied. Remus knelt beside him, "He will live," He said putting his hand on Harry's shoulder, "You had better go see if Ron is still in one piece.  
  
Harry nodded and stood. He walked away from the growing crowd of Aurors. Of the one hundred that had been in the initial attack only forty remained. He saw Ron with hagrid.   
******  
  
"'arry yer all right?" Hagrid asked when he saw the young man.  
  
He nodded, "I'm all right,"   
  
"You look like you've seen a ghost," He said hugging Harry's shoulder.  
  
Harry walked over to where he thought Snape had landed, "I don't think it was a ghost I saw," Ron walked beside him as Harry walked around the ruins.  
  
Ron gasped when he saw the batter robe shrouded form, "Snape?"  
  
Hagrid was next to them, "Professor Snape? We thought he were dead,"  
  
"He hit Voldemort first, he weakened him, but was flung here. He saved me." Harry said as Hagrid knelt beside the figure, and scooped him up. "Is he still alive?"  
  
"Barely. We're going to have to take him back to Hogwarts," Hagrid said as he walked away from the ruins and the Aurors.   
  
"Why not St. Mungo's?" Ron asked as the found a secluded section of the field where they could disapperate.  
  
"I don't think many of the Aurors could stand his presence, Ron." Harry replied, "Besides I don't think Snape could be anywhere were he didn't know where the potions came from," Hagrid nodded.  
*********  
  
Ron sat in his london flat he was writing a letter to hermione.  
  
Mione,   
  
It's over! Voldemort's dead. No doubt the Daily prophet will have the story. We lost most of the Aurors i'm glad you were there though. From what Harry told me it was Snape that dealt the blow that weakened Voldemort. I thought he was dead. We all thought he was dead. Harry hit him next then the Aurors.   
  
But can you believe it? Snape survived two months only to lose again. Hagrid took him to Hogwarts. He needs a bloody miracle to survive. He was thrown thirty feet into a pile of bricks. almost every inch of him was bruised cut or broken. Maybe the Git did do something good with his life after all.  
  
We are all okay. Sirius is a little rough right now he got his with the cruciatus hard, so did remus but not as bad. Harry's all right, he misses you terribly. Ginny Sends her love as do us all.  
  
Always   
Ron  
  
"Here ya' go Pig," he gave the letter to his little owl, pigwidgeon, and opened the window for the owl.  
  
*********  
Two months later:  
  
Severus sat in a high backed wheel chair. He sat by the large window in the infirmary. He still had bandages about his middle but his broken bones had been healed.  
  
It was his mind that had yet to heal completely. He had nightmares, horrible dreams that haunted him every night.   
  
Well Severus, he thought, you've faced your demons and lived. Maybe fate has some higher purpose for you anyways, he told himself, though i don't think passing your genes is high on that list. Maybe improving potions, perhaps find a cure for the phantom pains or improve on Remus' wolfbane potion?  
  
"Ah, Severus," Albus strode into the room with Madam Pomfrey, "I see you are up,"  
  
"Of course I am, I have been for the better part of a week."  
  
"I told you he's getting his temper back, and with term starting in two weeks the sooner he gets out of here the sooner I will have peace of mind," Madam Pomfrey wasn't usually as straightforward, but she had grown rather tired of the man's snide remarks and criticism. She left in a huff and went to her office.  
  
"Am I too assume that I finally get to return to my chambers. if they are still here." He didn't know if they had cleaned them out for the replacement teacher.  
  
"They are still here, no one has disturbed them, apart from the house elves cleaning. It was Actually Miss Granger who insisted that we not do anything to your chambers until next term started."  
  
"Why would that silly girl do that?"  
  
"She had hope that you were still alive I'm sure." Albus smiled slightly, "She was the one figured out where Voldemort's keep was."  
  
"Was she in the battle?" Severus couldn't remember seeing her there.  
  
"No, She was taking the Auror exam that day,"  
  
"Oh. Well can I return to my Chambers now? I must prepare for the coming term,"  
  
"Very well Severus," Albus smiled before he turned and left.  
*******  
  
Hermione sat with her letter from the ministry. She had yet to open it. Crookshanks sat at her feet purring, He meowed. "All right you silly thing I'll open it."  
  
She opened the parchment envelope and unfolded the letter.  
  
Dear Miss Granger.  
  
We regret to inform you that you have not adequately passed the temperament portion of your test. Your temperament was between wrathful and vengeful. The rest of the test was passing, but without passing the temperament portion you cannot be accepted into the advanced training. You may, however, try again in five years.  
  
Signed  
Gabriel Pembry  
Head of Auror Testing and Training  
  
She signed, "So much for that eh, Crookshanks? Shall we try again in five?" He meowed. "We could unless something else comes up."  
She patted his head.  
*******  
  
Nearly four years later:  
  
Hermione walked through her Diagon alley flat. Crookshanks followed at her heels. She walked into the kitchen to make herself some lunch.  
  
Hermione heard the insistent tapping at her window and saw large gray owl sitting on the sill on her flats largest window.  
"Oh," She said opening the window, "A letter?"  
  
The owl hopped inside and dropped the letter on the table under the window. Hermione gave him a bit of biscuit, and opened the letter.  
  
Dear Miss Granger,  
  
We have recently had an opening in the staff. it is a position that you might find interesting. Please owl your response as soon as you can.  
  
Signed,  
Albus Dumbledore  
Headmaster Hogwarts  
  
Hermione wondered what position it was for. She had spent the past three and a half years working several different Jobs. None of them felt comfortable for her.  
  
Albus,  
  
I am very interested in the position at Hogwarts. Is it potions by chance?  
  
Hermione Granger  
  
She sealed her response and gave it to the owl. She closed the window after the bird had left. She half-hoped it would be potions, the other half hoped it wouldn't be. She knew Severus was dead, even though they had found him just barely alive. The way Ron had described it, no one could have survived that, even with a miracle. He had no doubt died from his injuries.  
********  
  
Hermione got her reply two days later.  
  
Miss Granger,  
  
The Potions Position is still being held by Professor Snape. He is still very much alive and kicking. The position that had come to my attention was Assistant Librarian. Madam Pince is retiring at the end of term, but would like to have someone there to train. You are the only one that came to mind.  
  
Signed   
Albus  
  
  
Hermione took quill and parchment and wrote a reply. it took her several minutes to write out the simple reply. Severus alive? her heart fluttered  
  
Albus,  
  
I would love to take the position. Just let me know how early I should arrive before term.  
  
Signed  
Hermione Granger  
*******  
  
One month later & nearly one week until the start of term:  
  
Severus sat in his chambers when Albus' head popped through the flames of the fireplace, "Severus, may I speak with you in my office as soon as possible.'  
  
"Yes sir," Severus watched Albus disappear from the flames and he began to reach for the bottle of fire whiskey on his writing desk. "No, Severus. You don't want to show up drunk," Yes, you do, said a small voice in his mind. Severus left his chambers an hour later.  
  
Severus made his way through the, thankfully quiet, halls of Hogwarts. His black robes billowing behind him, making him seem even more frightening than normal. What could the man want? He thought to himself. They had already had the staff meeting a week before. And as usual he had sat farthest away from anyone.  
  
He thought of the nearly empty bottle of fire whiskey on his desk, "Severus, what has reduced you to this?" he said to himself, as he walked. He had often drunk himself into a stupor just to keep from hearing the screams when he slept.  
  
He truly couldn't wait for the school year to start. He truly enjoyed making the first years tremble, It teaches them respect me, he thought.  
  
He made his way to Albus' office doors sooner than he thought and was about to knock, "Come in," This puzzled Severus how did the old man always know when someone was there? He opened the door and slinked inside, "Ah, Severus, I am so glad you could make it. Please take a seat. Lemon drop?"  
  
"Albus, you know I never touch those things," He slid into a leather chair in front of Albus' massive desk, "Why am I here?"  
  
"Well seeing as you are the only one who hasn't met our newest faculty member," Albus started then realized Severus hadn't even noticed that they were in the room, "Actually Assistant Librarian,"  
  
"A book worm eh?" He could picture a small mousy woman with no backbone, "Well where is this new Librarian," His remark was touched with sarcasm.  
  
"She's over by the fire," Severus turned slightly and looked, he saw a figure in burgundy robes with gold trim. Obviously a Gryffindor, he thought, "Will you come here my dear," The figure turned and walked over to the desk and sat in the chair next to Severus, "I think you know Severus already,"  
  
Severus looked more closely at the women. She did indeed seem familiar; her hair was a rich chestnut and fell in luxurious ringlets, warm brown eyes, well shaped face and perfectly curved body. She also seemed half his age. "I know you?" He couldn't place this lovely woman's face with any student he remembered, but she did look familiar.  
  
"Severus, I am surprised you don't recognize former students. I owled Miss Granger at the end of last term. Asking if she wanted the position. A bit short noticed I know,"  
  
"Miss Granger?" He couldn't believe that this woman had been one of his most trying students, The ugly duckling has become a swan. She had never been ugly, she had always been quite a striking beauty.  
  
"I hope you will all just call me Hermione," Four years hadn't changed Severus at all she thought, as she smiled warmly at him.   
  
"Certainly," Albus said, and smiled warmly at her.   
  
"If you'll excuse me gentlemen, I promised to help Madam Pomfrey with a few books she wanted," With that She slid effortlessly out of the chair and glided out of the office.  
  
"She truly is a lovely girl, eh, Severus?" Dumbledore smiled and took another lemon drop, "She really had her eye on potions though, she didn't know you had made it through,"  
  
"Not many people knew. Sorry to disappoint her" Severus replied bitterly, "She was a good student, would've been better if she didn't have Potter and Weasely,"  
  
"But it was those two who found you," Albus replied.  
  
How could I forget, thought Severus, being tortured by Voldemort, kept alive for the sole purpose of the Dark Lord's amusement. Escaping the cell where he had been kept, finding his way out of the ruins, walking amongst innocent bodies. Striking Voldemort, being flung. Then being found by Potter and Weasely after Voldemort had been finally defeated, being carried by Hagrid back to Hogwarts. "Excuse me, I must finish cataloging my stores,"  
  
With that Severus left Dumbledore's office, but he didn't go to the dungeons he went to the library. "There won't be any quiet time in that place when school starts," he muttered to himself as he entered the library. He stopped dead in his tracks when he saw, Miss Granger and Hagrid sitting at a far table talking...  
  
"I truly had no idea Severus had made it through," Hermione started, "Ron said he looked frightful,"  
  
"Aye 'e were in bad shape 'e was," Hagrid replied, "Took 'im a good two months to recover. Ah professor Snape, lovely to see yer here,"  
  
"Can I help you Severus?" Hermione asked, "A book you're looking for perhaps? We just got 'Arcane Uses for Chimaera, Hydra and Basilisk' if you're interested in it of course,"  
  
"I'll take a look at it," Of course he was interested in it, it was one of the few books he have. He watched as she left to get the book for him. "Reading Hagrid? Nothing on dragons I hope,"  
  
"No Sir," Hagrid picked up the book he had been reading, "Werewolves," Hagrid chuckled silently as he watched Severus scowl once more, then left.  
******  
  
Hermione smiled to herself when she left to get the book he had a childlike gleam in his eyes. It was the look a child got when they saw something they desired.  
  
She picked up the book from where it rested on it's opened brown paper wrapper. She ran her fingers a across the gold letters, I have to read this one one day, she thought as she walked back towards Severus.  
  
"Here it is Severus," Hermione returned and watched Snape give an incredibly small smile, she smiled warmly at him, He wasn't as vile looking as she remembered, rather handsome she thought, she realized she had been staring then said, "It has to be returned in a week so it can be properly cataloged," She smiled again then turned and left him standing, book in hand, alone.  
  
Why had she smiled at me like that? Surely she didn't think I would be her friend, He thought as he quickly left, I've got to get rid of that fire whiskey, he continued to think as he walked, Didn't do me any good when I was eighteen, won't do me any good now.   
  
He stood at the entrance to his chambers, a large oak door "Taimat" he muttered, and the door swung open, His rooms were large, richly decorated with bookshelves lining the living room walls. he set a fire in the fireplace then took of his robes. He sat down in a large dark green armchair, and loosened the top two buttons of his shirt.  
  
He thought of Hermione, maybe she was trying to be nice to him, not out of sympathy but out of a mutual respect. He did respect her, not many would have the nerve to try poly juice potion in their second year.  
  
Did she respect him though? Or was it fear? He didn't dwell on it and opened the book that sat on his lap, he read until late and fell asleep. It was the first time in many nights he hadn't drunk himself into a stupor and fallen asleep at his desk....   
  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~THE END?~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
Continues as: To where shadows dwell and angels cry.  
  
  
  
A/N: Thanks for all of the reviews for this story. It is now complete. I hope you like how it ended. And I know I didn't cover everything in the four year absence but that's okay, I can always cover it in the other story. But I had fun writing this one and i hope you had fun reading it despite the few less than happy scenes. 


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